My summer engagement as a youth baseball coach ended last night. We won a few games, the boys sported shirts that resembled tents used by Barnum and I realized that I enjoy winning a lot more than losing. I also came to the rapid conclusion that the ten-year-old and younger boys had the same attitude towards winning and losing. They liked to win. And they really didn’t like to lose.

When did our society get stuck on it’s all about having fun? When is losing fun?

I did lose my virginity, and that was definitely fun.

If I lost my wife to the next-door neighbor with the orange Hummer. That would not be fun.

The cat is lost. Depends on whether you like cats on how depressing that might be.

I lost my car keys. Always a frustrating and maddening experience that makes a person question one’s mental make-up and the possible advance of dementia.

Losing blows. Unless you are an NBA squad that is tanking the regular season in search of the next LeBron James. We instruct our kids to succeed in school, we applaud Tiger Moms, we look for the best possible summer camp, and then we mouth fake platitudes about having fun and it’s not about always winning. The kids aren’t buying it. They see their parents compete at work, try to bake the perfect cupcakes to complement their perfectly barbecued steak tips, have a landscape crew come in and create topiary artwork on their lawns, and then their parents mouth some pablum about having fun when success is not achieved. Kids understand when their parents are being disingenuous.

 

Topiary Artwork

 

I will freely admit to wanting my team to win. The kids were a lot easier to deal with when our team was winning than when they were watching their opponents run around the bases like migrating gazelle. When losing, bickering occurred on the field. Tears flowed at the prospect of a loss. And after one loss, there was this declarative sentence used by one of the older boys, “We suck.”

I tried to remind my young charges that the best major league baseball team will lose over sixty games this year, but they’re not listening to what I’m trying to sell. These kids didn’t want to hear that losing builds character. Character is something they watch on the Disney Channel and not linked to personal pride or conduct. These kids wanted to trash-talk in the handshake line, which is in some ways funny at that age, but also a jolt to the senses. The trash-talking was squashed, but Seattle Seahawks defensive back Richard Sherman is arguably the most celebrated defensive player in the NFL – and one of its greatest trash-talkers. Kids learn from what society celebrates.

 

 Hardball fans talking trash.

 

Will I coach again? Probably. I’ve got the bug, which doesn’t surprise me all that much. After our final game, I was in a fugue lamenting the end of summer ball and the encroaching end of summer. It felt like the season had only just started and its conclusion was far too soon.

The kids were fun and difficult, they were accepting and challenging, and they were sometimes good sports and sometimes excellent trash-talkers. Sign me up for a coaching trip to Williamsport in 2018.

Now a dose of “Suck It Up!” motivation from former Boston College and NFL linebacker Tom McManus.