It’s early in 2019 and two of the world’s leading democracies, the United States and Great Britain, resemble dysfunctional developing countries where democracy is an alien idea. If Great Britain can’t figure out Brexit and the United States continues with its Mexican standoff government shutdown, how do we expect other nations to embrace and understand how democracy works?

 

 

Iowa Congressman Steve King embraces Western civilization, white people and white babies: “Preventing babies being born is not medicine. That’s not constructive to our culture and our civilization. If we let our birthrate get down below the replacement rate, we’re a dying civilization.”

The Donald rummaged through the White House’s couches and junk drawer to accumulate enough dough to buy the 2018 national champion of college football, the Clemson Tigers, a buffet of fast food hamburgers and “hamberders.” Hopefully the Donald had enough class not to use coupons.

 

The Tappan Zee Bridge was detonated over the Hudson River, but nothing is going to be more explosive than a New York Jets coaching tandem of crazy eyes Adam Gase and his bounty hunter of a defensive coordinator Gregg Williams.

Was ex-Yankee Chad Curtis writing prison missives to fellow Bronx Bomber alum, John Wetteland? 

Looking for a t-shirt to purchase for your favorite Boston College football fan? This is a winner.

Boston College’s men’s basketball squad is looking at a possible two-win record in ACC play. If that is achieved, would it be sayonara for head coach Jim Christian? On Wednesday, the Eagles travel to Louisville to get their heads kicked in.

Ben Mendelsohn is quietly becoming one of my favorite actors. Mendlesohn co-stars with Ryan Reynolds as a louche gambler (Gerry) in Mississippi Grind;  he plays the conflicted, confused and morally-challenged ex-husband (Anders Harris) of Edie Falco’s character in the Netflix drama, The Land of Steady Habits;  and he takes a turn as the diabolical megalomaniac, Orson Krennic, in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

Ben Mendelsohn – better known as Orson Krennic. 

 

Why does Nature Valley’s Fruit & Nut chewy granola bar get thinner and thinner? Pretty soon, they’re going to have to market this as a matzo.

Lemon hummus sounds like a good idea. It’s not.

In the world of Twitter, it’s being argued that Heisman Trophy winner and Oklahoma quarterback Kyler Murray, who recently announced that he will make himself eligible for the NFL draft, is more famous than any professional baseball player with the exception of Tim Tebow. That may be true in some parts of the country, but very few people in New England have any interest in college football and love themselves some Mookie Betts.

Tim Tebow’s Very Private Marriage Proposal

 

In this century, the Patriots hold a 20-3 home playoff record. How could anyone pick the Chargers?

Barstool’s Dave Portnoy is an evil genius. Portoy removes Barstool’s comment section because of an abundance of racist remarks – but then days later – returns the comments section with a caveat: To make a comment a person must be a Gold Barstool member, which is Barstool’s new membership service that will set a person back less than a $1.00 a week. Most racists should have enough money, in their KKK rainy day fund, to handle that.

[Personal Note: I have a subscription to the New York Times that costs me a $1.00 a week. We live in a really fucked-up world.]

 

Simona Halep

Curently suffering from insomnia? The Australian Open is a godsend. U.S. Open women’s champion Naomi Osaka was a dynamo in her first-round win over Tamara Zidansek. And who created the women’s draw that requires #1 seed Simona Halep to possibly play Venus and Serena Williams in her part of the draw?

Remember when American men were relevant in professional tennis.

Remember when Manny Machado and Bryce Harper were relevant major league baseball players.

Ocean’s Eight would be more fun if you haven’t watched its male predecessors. It’s a MeToo thing.

Megyn Kelley fails and receives $69 million from NBC. America is an unbelievably great country. (And people are worried about socialism taking root.)

Kyrie Irving has an issue with the Celtics young ‘uns. LeBron James is laughing all the way down Rodeo Drive.

 

Nothing better defines politics in 2019 than watching Beto O’Rourke get his teeth cleaned.

Ted Cruz’s beard makes him look like the runt-sized cousin of Wolverine.

Hugh Jackman’s stand-in. 

 

I’d rather have the comedian Bill Burr as U.S. Attorney General than Bill Barr.

Has Bill Barr ever played the Kowloon in Saugus, Massachusetts? He looks like a guy that would like the Saugus Wings, which would pare nicely with a Six Seam from Idle Hands in Malden, Massachusetts.

 

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Cue the music: