I’m dreaming of soaring with the eagles, chasing unicorns through a field of purple clover and getting turnt up with Scrappy from Love & Hip Hop Atlanta.

Bambi & Scrappy

Urban Dictionary.com supplies this sentence for turnt up: shanay got supper turnt up at thee party last night.

I am ready to unleash thee Kraken and turnt it up:

The Sheridan Entertainment Group has been considering offers of releasing a sex tape. Would the release of a sex tape get my face on a box of Wheaties?

As a forty-seven-year-old, wiffle ball is now considered an aerobic activity.

Three games into my youth sports coaching career (See Marv Marinovich.) and I haven’t been thrown out of a game. Who says I can’t do warm and fuzzy? (Maintaining a secret desire to pull an Earl Weaver but I’ll squash that nonsense for now. Don’t unleash the Kraken!)

Watching the Red Sox toil in last place, there is a god. Larry Lucchino should be forced to blow George Steinbrenner in hell. Not that any Bronx Bombers would pass through the gates of hell.

Privately contemplating a move to Duxbury, Massachusetts, and changing my name to Benzino.

Are newspapers becoming more and more mundane or is the scope of my interests narrowing?

Drove past a pick-up truck that sported this bumper sticker, “Honk for Impeachment” I could write for days on how I hate the pinheads who drive pick-up trucks.

Was Texas Senator Ted Cruz the president of former Astro Jose Cruz “Control’s” Fan Club?

Hung out in Nordstrom’s and heard Kings of Leon being played on the in-house sound system. I’m sure that’s what KOL envisioned when they started their careers.

Hit Matt Bonner’s NBA championship party a few weeks ago at the Redhook Brewery in Portsmouth, NH. Of course Matt Bonner is no relation to party promoter, Scott Bonner. Wanted to share a glass of Barolo with Pop, but he was nowhere to be found.

Bonner – not the party promoter

Matt Bonner is the greatest hoops player in the Granite State’s history. Not sure where Boston College great, Skip Barry, fits on the list.

Green Flash Brewing Company will be opening its second brewery in Virginia Beach, Virginia. Might have to turnt it up in Virginia Beach with Mike Vick and some West Coast IPA.

Nothing better in the summer than savoring a glass of Hazy Jane from Mystic Brewery located in Chelsea, Massachusetts.

Never would have thought there was a ridiculously good bagels place in Chelsea, but Katz’s Bagels is legit. Reminds me of Kupel’s Bagels in Brookline, Massachusetts.

Now, I have to turnt it up with Jeff The Brotherhood.