Baseball’s Opening Day is upon us at the end of March, which might be a tad early, but with the Trump administration’s commitment to transforming the EPA into a government agency that eliminates bothersome and nitpicking environmental regulations, MLB will eventually be able to start the season in February utilizing the maximum benefits of climate change.

As the Trump administration uses the Hot Tub Time Machine to recreate the halcyon days of William McKinley’s presidency, in the late 1890s, baseball embarks on another season. Another 162 games.

162 games to deflect from what is a stumbling and bumbling Trump administration that takes to a commercial messaging app, Signal, to discuss a military strike after inadvertently including a journalist in the group. These clowns couldn’t organize a clandestine boys weekend to Vegas without letting the whole world know. Ferris Bueller had more spycraft skills than this bunch.

I write this sippng RFK Jr. recommended cod liver oil to “innoculate” myself from the resurgence of measles that is affecting parts of the country. I’m also considering making some eye of newt soup. Why not?

If you’re asking, is this a piece on baseball? It is, but I would be remiss not to mention contextually where we are as a nation. We are living in a time where seemingly every norm is being attacked — except the pursuit of money. That is being championed with an unbridled zeal, but at the cost and detriment to middle-class Americans.

As we have witnessed with baseball, our American institutions are resilient. They have the ability to withstand body blows, haymakers and regain their feet after a standing eight count. Democracy will ultimately prevail.

And 162 games of baseball is a great diversion from the Trump & Musk show.

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Going Yard

In Hollywood, the Los Angeles Dodgers have made every other big league club resemble The Bad News Bears Go To Japan. The Dodgers are THE baseball colossus perched on a tectonic plate and accruing talent with the ease of a Hollywood madam. Baseball has not seen a repeat World Series champion since the 1999 and 2000 New York Yankees.

The Juan Soto era commences in Flushing, NY. Stevie Cohen took out his big boy credit card and made Juan Soto and Scott Boras extremely happy. The Mets will score runs, but their starting pitching staff won’t remind anyone of Seaver, Koosman and Matlack.

The New York Yankees took a huge hit with the loss of their ace, Gerrit Cole, to season-ending Tommy John surgery. For those who believe the Yankees’ pursuit of a World Series title is over, the trade deadline could bring another ace to the Boogie Down. The subtractions of Gleyber Torres and Alex Verdugo have exponentially increased the Bronx Bombers’ collective baseball IQ.

With Gerrit Cole gone in Gotham, Red Sox fans are starting to have fantasies of winning the AL East. Red Sox skipper Alex Cora has newly-acquired free agent Alex Bregman to boost the intensity in the clubhouse. Garrett Crochet gives the Old Towne Team an ace. The trio of Kristian Campbell, Marcelo Mayer and Roman Anthony are reminding regulars at The Sausage Guy cart of when Betts, Bogaerts, Bradley Jr. and Benintendi broke into the bigs. I would still advise folks not to to use Bucky Dent or Jeter Downs in the same sentence at the Cask & Flagon.

Can the Chicago White Sox lose less than 100 games? I would take the over.

The St. Louis Cardinals have Chaim Bloom waiting in the wings to take over from John Mozeliak as President of Baseball Operations. Ask Chaim about Jeter Downs. I have a feeling Alex Cora doesn’t miss Mr. Bloom in Boston.

The Rays and A’s are both playing at minor leage parks. Will the beer prices be minor league?

The Chicago Cubs should win the NL Central. I’ll take Kyle Tucker over Cody Bellinger.

The kick change is the new pitch.

The Minnesota Twins are going to score runs like an Edina slow pitch softball team.

Jose Altuve has moved to left field for the Astros. Mookie Betts is the shortstop at Dodger Stadium. And Rafael Devers has been moved off third base by the addition of Alex Bregman at The House That Dave Roberts Built.

Without question, the Yankees were woefully inept at the fundamentals in 2024. The World Series showcased that.

Will Baltimore’s Tyler O’Neill continue his Opening Game home run streak? The streak stands at five.

Corbin Burnes makes the D’Backs legit.

Opening Day Premier Pitching Matchup: Skenes going against Alcantara in Miami.

Bug in a rug, Bloop or Ballantine Blast!